A Scripted Maze

perils with writing and whatnot

A State Of Unknowing

Image provided by Wonderlane @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/wonderlane/

Image provided by
Wonderlane @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/wonderlane/

This is the responses for my third lesson in Writing Bliss’s free email course, Inner Journey. Please read about my results of the first lesson, Meaning At Any Given Moment here. You may find my reactions of the second assignment, My Heart Is At Work, or the third assignment, Simmering For Wholeness, worth reading too.

A State Of Unknowing

Image provided by
Daniel Voyager @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielvoyager/

“Doubt is a state of openness and unknowing. It’s a willingness to not be in charge, to not know what is going to happen next.”
– – Bernard Glassman and Rick Fields, Authors of Instructions to the Cook

For this assignment, I chose the fifth question to answer. (I love the fact that I only have to address one of five questions for each assignment. 😉 )

What things are stopping you from doing what you truly want to do? Examine honestly, if these things are legitimate hindrances or are simply excuses you’ve come up with because of an unspoken fear.

First, I needed to discover what things I would truly be happy doing. At this stage in my life — middle-aged rapidly heading to being a senior — what I’m capable of doing has dwindled a little. Also, my disability is a factor that can’t be ignored. There isn’t any point in discussing desires that realistically can’t be fulfilled. With this said however, this would be a worthless exercise if I stick to the things that are easy to accomplish just to complete the assignment.

What I Want to Do

  • Be a published writer: Although I have been published, it was in March of Dimes newsletters almost twenty years ago. I want people to read what I’ve written recently, and if possible, get paid for it.
  • I want to live in Europe: This is a far as I have thought about this dream. I haven’t picked a city/town or even a country of preference yet. I just know that when I’ve been in Europe before, I felt that I belonged there instead of here in the US.
  • I want to design a more disability-friendly house: I want to design the house both inside and out.

Obstacles and Apprehensions

There is a big difference between these two. I think of obstacles as things that actually get in the way of what I want to do. For example, I cannot ride a regular bike because of the obstacle I have, poor balance of the entire body. It’s a medical condition I have no control over. When I think of apprehensions, doubts and uncertainty comes to mind. There’s still a possibility that I can do whatever it is. I just have to get past the ‘what ifs’ and drum up the courage to move forward with it.

  • Being a published writer: I must be honest here. There aren’t any obstacles. All that is stopping me is me. I have these humongous doubts about my writing abilities. There are a few people who say I have the talent for it, but this doesn’t do me much good. I need to know if I have a chance at this for myself. Of course, this means going into the unknown and putting my work out there for someone to seriously critique. I’ve gotten as far as having a public blog for everyone in cyber space to read. This is a start but I need to push myself, push myself hard to take that next step.
  • Living in Europe: I think there are real obstacles with this one. The obvious one is money. At my age and with my disability, I doubt very seriously that I could get a job anywhere in Europe. If you couple this with the fact that I don’t know any other language other than English, I would say that my chances of finding employment there is nil. If I won the lottery or the Publisher’s Clearing House money, yes, I could move to anywhere I wanted. Yes, I know – keep on dreaming.
  • Designing a disability-friendly house: I think this one may be a combination of obstacles and apprehensions. If I could find the money to go back to college to take the courses needed for this kind of endeavor, there’s a small, very small chance that I could really do it. Money for college education is slim right now, but there are some grants still available for the ones who want to hunt them down. Still, even if I got the education, I really can’t image anyone hiring an old broad like me to design a house of any type, let alone one that’s disability-friendly. I say this with knowledge to back me up. I worked as a patient representative for ten years at a major hospital. When I first moved to this little town I live now, I tried to get a job at the local hospital. I was willing to start at the bottom again. As you’ve guessed, they wouldn’t hire me. Times are tougher now so my chances for employment are very scarce.

Granted, I could probably shoot for all three of these ideas I consider my dreams or passions. I think my largest hang-up is that I’m a realist. I believe I do have the courage to face the unknown, the doubts. It’s just that sometimes it takes a long time for me to muster it up for the challenge.

I lived in Europe for almost two years when I was younger. I’ve seen how Europeans treat their seniors. I can tell you that those of us in the US could learn a thing or two in this area. Fear of living there is not a problem for me.

I know that I could probably design a fabulous house that is disability-friendly. However, I can’t see the point in making such an effort when the chances of anyone actually following through by building the structure sounds ludicrous to me.

As for being a published writer, with diligence and moral support, I just may make it yet.

Advertisements

12 comments on “A State Of Unknowing

  1. Pingback: An Hour Of Unplugging | A Scripted Maze

  2. Pingback: Ending The Endless Worry | A Scripted Maze

  3. Pingback: Ending The Endless Worry | Speculations Impressed

  4. Pingback: An Hour Of Unplugging | Speculations Impressed

  5. skinnyuz2b
    2014/01/27

    We have to have our dreams and goals and take little steps to fulfill them. They may not ever get completely fulfilled, but most dreams aren’t.
    As long as you write, then you are a writer.

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2014/01/27

      Mary, thank you for saying that. 🙂 For some odd reason deep within me, I do think I’ll eventually make it to at least having a short story published in a magazine.

      Like

  6. Gosh, I have two of the same desires. One I’ve accomplished with my first book. I call it my little miracle. If I had a chance and resources I would live in or near Amiens France or Norway. I have faith in you Glynis. I know you’ll find a way.

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2014/01/27

      Susan, you just can’t know how much I appreciate your support and encouragement. Because of your comments and those of a few others, I actually feel that I can make the first one happen at least, and that would send my self esteem flying. 🙂

      Norway is beautiful. At least, that’s what I’ve seen in pictures. And I’ve heard that the local people are wonderful too.

      Like

  7. Aleta
    2014/01/23

    What type of writing do you enjoy? Genre? I can definitely seeing you getting published (again) 🙂

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2014/01/24

      Thank you for the support, Aleta.

      Genre… I guess I feel most comfortable with writing about adventures.It seems to go well with my wonder lust.

      Like

  8. Good post. Some of your fears I feel many of us feel. Dream and believe – you can make happen what you really want. The rest changes in the process of working towards your dream.

    Like

Please give thoughts, opinions and smart aleck remarks :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on 2014/01/22 by in Inner Journey and tagged , , , , , .

Top Posts & Pages

Archives

:::::

Follow A Scripted Maze on WordPress.com

Member of The Internet Defense League

Writers After Dark

The Writing Site for Independent Authors: News, Resources, and Advice

MakeItUltra™

Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

Neurodivergent Rebel

Rebelling against a culture that values assimilation over individuality.

Annika Perry's Writing Blog

Join me as I edit my first novel and aim for publication

Milly Schmidt

The Cat's Write

Madam Ova Sabi

For women and those who love them

Writing Creative Nonfiction

Articles, Poetry, Opinion, Personal Essays, and Visual Arts

Find Your Creative Muse

Learn how to write poetry, fiction, personal essays, and more.

When Women Inspire

Highlighting Inspiring Women Around the World

Douglas William Thurstan Smith

An Australian Fantasy/ Fiction Writer

Broken Zen

Text+Sound by Wayne Mason

Dan Alatorre - AUTHOR

helpful writer ramblings from a disturbed mind just like yours

HarsH ReaLiTy

A Good Blog is Hard to Find

My Name Is Marion Ann

Living the creative life...

Chopping Potatoes

And other metaphors for motherhood

Random Rantings

Life, Relationships

JustAWomanWithRandomThoughts

Random thoughts, manic randoms, continuous randoms.

Darkest Desires of an Insecure Mind

A tale of insecurity, fear, betrayal and love....

Diary of a Psychokiller

take a trip with me to the darkside

D.S. MCKNIGHT

Author of Young Adult Fiction

Selected Essays and Squibs by Joseph Suglia

The Web log of Dr. Joseph Suglia

Kim's Author Support Blog

Authors Supporting Authors!!!!!

KathrynAnna

Writer. Writing.

Myths of the Mirror

Life is make believe, fantasy given form

Eternal Atlantis

Official Website of Luciana Cavallaro

A walk in my shoes

From Relationships to Weightloss

madgeniusclub

We're not really mad geniuses. We're just a little miffed

Heartstring Eulogies

Conjured by Sarah Doughty

Write into life

How to stay alive until you die, starting now. Writing helps!

Writing and other stuff

a sporadic account of things that matter to me.

Lynn Thaler

Weird and Random Thoughts

Broken Brain - Brilliant Mind

Learning to live all over again after Brain Injury and Concussion

COW PASTURE CHRONICLES

"There is nothing to writing. All you have to do is sit down at a typewriter - and bleed." Ernest Hemingway

Bane of Your Resistance

A place to share insight and information about the many forms of writer’s resistance (writer’s block, procrastination, distractions, looking for answers in the fridge, keeping yourself too busy to write, etc.) so you can stop resisting and start really enjoying your writing.

Writers In The Storm

A Blog On Writing

jean's writing

Jean M. Cogdell, Author-Writing something worth reading, one word at a time in easy to swallow bite size portions.

%d bloggers like this: