A Scripted Maze

perils with writing and whatnot

As It was Foretold

I love writing. I really do. Yet sometimes pulling the words out of me stabs me as if I have nails in the bottom of my feet. So what do I do? I stroll over to Writing.Com and grab myself a writing prompt. This prompt is ‘The wind howled with delight…’.

As It was Foretold

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She cleaned off the kitchen counters in the silence of her own thoughts. The meal was all right but not outstanding by any means. Their company left soon after the meal, leaving Joyce and her husband, Ben wondering if they did something terribly wrong.

“Did the beef tips taste all right to you?” she asked.

“Hon, your meal was fabulous. Honest,” Ben said with a soothing voice.

Outside the wind howled with delight, sending empty garbage cans tumbling down the street. The blue tick hound in the yard next door sang along with the gale. It was one of those nights that could be filmed for a horror movie. The moon was full but unless you looked up at the right time, you’d see a partial one because of the clouds moving in and out of the area so fast.

Joyce’s expression changed to one of curiosity. “You know Ben; we’ve had eight straight nights of this wind. Do you think that maybe, just maybe this has something to do with them leaving early? After all, the weatherman said that this was highly unusual.”

Ben hunched his shoulders. “Maybe. The thing is Carl and I have been friends since we were in our twenties. I would think he’d feel comfortable talking about it. It just doesn’t make sense.”

December 21, 2012 had come and gone eighteen months ago. According to the Mayans, that was the last day of the fourth world, making this very moment part of the fifth world. Being concurring with this was monumental changes in the Earth’s environment.

Could the howling winds each night be a part of this?

Joyce thought it was a possibility, even maybe a probability. Yes, she was intrigued by the New Age philosophies and teachings. She had been obsessed with it since the spring after the September 11 incident. Who know? Maybe she was onto something that would eventually be proven true. In the meantime, only her husband and her mother entertained the idea of her notions being close to reality.

The next five nights were pretty much the same. About 6:30 in the evening, Ben and Joyce could heard the breeze slowly turning into a gale. By 8:00, they were looking out their front window to watch debris plunge down the street.

They began to pay more attention to the weather station, seeing the hurricanes, typhoons and twisters doing massive damage.

Then suddenly, on July 14, there wasn’t any wind at all. The air was still as afternoon turned into evening. The birds were singing their last songs of the day. As twilight took over, the tree frogs started their chorus.

Ben and Joyce were mystified.

“Do you think it’s over?” Ben asked.

“I don’t think so, Honey. I think we’re just getting a break from it.”

 

As you can see, this is only a scene. Don’t mistake it for a flash fiction piece. I’ll take any feedback on this that you want to throw at me. 😉

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18 comments on “As It was Foretold

  1. Kate Loveton
    2015/03/16

    Intriguing, Glynis. Good luck with crafting this into a short story for submission to a magazine. I think you have the beginning of something good here.

    Like

  2. Pingback: On Second Thought… | Speculations Impressed

  3. The constant presence of wind is a great device to help add tension to a piece. It would be interesting to see how you could use it to add suspense in a long, more fleshed-out version. One paragraph slips a bit into second-person, but that’s an easy fix.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glynis Jolly
      2014/02/25

      I should have seen that in the paragraph about 12/21/2012. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I’m still not too sure if I should continue the story. I keep on thinking about it though.

      Like

  4. Let's CUT the Crap!
    2014/02/21

    This has me intrigued. Did their friends in fact leave because of the meal of did they have another agenda? Did they make it home?

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2014/02/23

      Tess, after your comment and a couple of others that are also positive, I’m motivated into making this a short story to submit to possible magazines. I’m really quite surprised at the responses I’ve received. I’ll get back to you later about critiquing.

      Like

      • Let's CUT the Crap!
        2014/02/23

        Awesome. Did you subscribe to the link I sent you? Hope that helps too.

        Like

        • Glynis Jolly
          2014/02/24

          I haven’t subscribed yet. I have, however, gone browsing through the site a little. 😉

          Like

          • Let's CUT the Crap!
            2014/02/25

            It’s so difficult making a match with what they look for. I still haven’t found one in this subscription. No point sending and waiting and never receiving an answer because the match is not good and of course they don’t tell you. You just decided they didn’t like your stuff. Grrr. 🙂

            Like

            • Glynis Jolly
              2014/02/26

              Have you tried the site, Helium? Just a suggestion, my friend. 😉

              Like

              • Let's CUT the Crap!
                2014/02/26

                Not yet. But will go back and check. Thanks for taking the time to pick this one.

                Like

              • Glynis Jolly
                2014/02/26

                I’ve been with Helium in the past. It’s been a while though. I like their setup for reviewing other writers’ work.

                Like

  5. Glynis, I agree with Susan. You held my attention. You had me hooked well and truly by the end of the first paragraph but I want to know more about the friends. As this is not flash fiction I’m presuming that we will find out why they left later in the writing. I certainly want to know whether the wind returned and at what force. Are we going to get the next instalment?

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2014/02/23

      As I wrote to Susan, I’m seriously thinking about making this a short story hoping that a magazine will want it. Your comments have sparked inspiration in me. Thank you so much, Irene.

      Like

  6. OK, you held my attention … now you have my curiosity. I loved how it started with the dinner and the winds were starting to howl. One question. What happened to their friends. Did they talk about that night? What will happen next? So many questions 🙂

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2014/02/23

      I wasn’t planning on going any farther with this. But after pondering on the questions I’ve been asked, maybe this would be a good one to use as a short story in some magazine. I feel that I need to get myself out there a little while I work on a writing project that is looking more and more like it’s going to be a novel.

      Thank you for the positive feedback, Susan.

      Like

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This entry was posted on 2014/02/21 by in writing prompt and tagged , , , .

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