perils with writing and whatnot
I’m told that anyone who has a passion for writing goes through periods of confusion, hatred, utter disappointment, focused depression, and the list of negatives goes on and on. I’ve been going through this since before Christmas. I didn’t dare tell anyone. That would be admitting defeat — at least that’s been my mindset.
Everyday at approximately 6pm, I’d sit at my computer desk trying my damnedest to keep on writing on my writing project, what I now call my novel project. I’d struggle with words, phases, and sentences until 8:30. The way I was think, all I had to do was keep plodding along and something in me would jiggle loose. The words would start flowing as they had with my first page.
Did it happen for me? Well — no, but if I hadn’t pushed myself for almost two months, I don’t think I would have ever seen any light in my passion again. All during this awful time, I was quite aware of the concept that writing is hard work; and this is the way it is more often than not. Still, by the time New Year’s Day had come and gone, I was feeling some serious doubts about my capabilities.
It was about that same time that a friend blogger, Cat started giving me moral support. At first I thought he was just being a friend and trying to boost my spirits. By the third post of mine he was giving uplifting comments on, I began to believe that he really meant what he was saying. I’ve never quite believed in compliments before. This isn’t to say that I don’t like myself. I do — but I also believe that I’m not any better than anyone else and, although I have talents, they aren’t the kind that will make me stand out. Now, I wonder if I could stand out eventually as long as I keep on pushing forward. (Thank you, Cat 😀 )
I’m still bickering with my writing as we head toward the end of February. Some of this is due to habits that have been ingrained in me since childhood. I am having a terrible time looking beyond misspelled words when writing a draft. This slows down my progress to a snail’s pace. Somehow I have to get out of this habit and just keep on writing (typing). Using Word, Docs, LiveWriter, or whatever other writing software, the mistakes are going to be underlined. I’m not going to miss them. There isn’t any reason when using a computer to have this habit of correcting every word as it’s mistakenly typed. If I use the Word or Doc program online, I can even get the grammatical errors to be caught by Grammarly, a software program that I have as an extension of Firefox. Sure, some errors will still be missed, but with diligence, I’ll find and correct them.
A couple of things that I didn’t dream would affect my approach to writing is personal complications and health.
Hubby wasn’t working for three weeks, part of January and part of this month. We do have some savings and he has a small military pension, but I knew we couldn’t just live on that for very long. I was handling it okay. I was able to continue to keep my anxiety level relatively low. I had a little problem sleeping but it wasn’t major. Hubby has been back to work for a week now and seems to be doing well at his job. I no long need Tylenol PM to get to sleep now. It did affect my writing. It was something I didn’t suspect until the problem got solved though.
I’ve been having digestive problems for over a month now. There hasn’t been a lot of pain but I guess enough underlying pain or ache to affect how I do some things, and unfortunately, this has included writing. Just think how much better my writing will be once this trouble is taken care of.
My message to you — If you’re a writer, do not give up. Find a way to muddle through the difficulties. And let someone be nice to you.
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