A Scripted Maze

perils with writing and whatnot

Never Meant to Be

This is in response to a writing prompt from Today’s Author. This blog offers helpful advice and writing prompts to writers of all levels.
Never Meant to Be

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Tara Angkor Hotel @ https://www.flickr.com/photos/taraangkorhotel/

They had a spectacular evening. The food was superb at the country inn fifteen miles out of the city. He was dressed right for the rendezvous; he was sure of it. He had worn a suit with a crisp white shirt and purposely left the tie off. She was stunning in the crimson satin dress. The white blazer, also satin, that she wore over it, didn’t have a collar, which allowed one’s eyes to drift beyond it to gaze at the red splendor of fabric underneath. Their conversation was light and easy, making both feel that they had successfully reclaimed their loving relationship.

The ride back to her apartment was one of expectations and hopes running through their minds, being twisted and tangled along the way. Standing at her doorstep, his longings pulled and tugged at him. Somehow she could feel herself pulling back with no ready answer for why she felt it.

A few years before they had a serious relationship. Although they weren’t thinking of marriage, they were scouting for a larger apartment they could share. It was that very activity that pushed them apart. Any first-year psychology text-book would tell you that there were underlying problems before then. Yet, neither one could see them. Or was it that they didn’t want to acknowledge them, so they didn’t?

She put her key in the lock to open the door, avoiding his eyes to escape any guilt. He glanced at her briefly, then looked down at the cement in front of him. The disappointment was engulfing him like a thick fog. He dragged his feet to his car and slowly drove down the street.

Sleep seemed to be an impossibility that night. He could lay still enough, but the evening kept on replaying in his head. He felt so certain that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, yet, after just a few years, her desires must have changed. It couldn’t be that she , as a whole, had changed. She dressed the same, talked about the same subjects with the same undying passion, and generally seemed to be headed in the same direction she was pointed to back then.

He finally pulled himself out of bed, grabbed a beer from the refrigerator, and sat down to write her a letter. As he wrote he drank. He retrieved another can from the refrigerator. He kept on writing. Finally he finished the letter in which he professed his undying love for her. Then he threw it away.

Realization can hit a person at the oddest times. He finally saw that it was him who had changed.

He crawled back into bed and slept.

Question: What is your honest opinion of how I portray a character of the male gender? Being female, I wonder if I show males realistically in my writing.

 

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14 comments on “Never Meant to Be

  1. Jacqui Murray
    2015/03/03

    I’m with Dan. I’d be likely to show the man making a decision and moving on. Women–not so much.

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2015/03/03

      I’ve known many women who emotionally hold on to a relationship after it is gone. For some strange reason, I’m not one of those women. I’ve figured once it’s over, it’s over. Yes, I must be extremely strange.

      Like

  2. Let's CUT the Crap!
    2015/03/03

    Great story, Glynis. I’m not a man, but the male character sounded authentic. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2015/03/03

      Thank you, Tess. If you read this, please look at my reply to Jacqui. 😛

      Like

      • Let's CUT the Crap!
        2015/03/04

        Good for you that you can turn around and move forward. Women are always about the smallest details of why and how. That doesn’t mean to me that men don’t wonder what went wrong as well, they they are more apt to move on. Or at least that’s how I see it. Wouldn’t ‘love’ give anyone pause to wonder, though?

        Like

        • Glynis Jolly
          2015/03/04

          Yes, lost love is something I’ve questioned even though I’ve been able to move on. I wonder what made the changes in the relationship happen and if there might have been anything I could have done to salvage the bond without losing myself in the process.

          Like

  3. Cat
    2015/03/03

    Great story, Glynis and really well written. I might be the wrong person to judge the male character, but I thought you did well. It was a bit short to form any better view

    Like

    • Glynis Jolly
      2015/03/03

      Can you tell me what I’ve missed? I find I enjoy writing from the man’s point of view, but being a woman, I know that there’s a lot I need to learn. I’d be happy to learn from you. 🙂

      Like

      • Cat
        2015/03/04

        I don’t think you’ve missed anything. What I meant is I’d need to read a longer story with a male character. Gosh, I don’t know that I am the right person to learn from, you know a heck of a lot more than I do 😉

        Like

        • Glynis Jolly
          2015/03/04

          Cat, I’m still an apprentice in the field of writing. I know for sure that I can learn from people who know something, anything I don’t know. Seeing that I’m female, I can learn plenty from a man. I prefer to learn from men who are sensitive because it makes it easier for me to grasp what they say.

          Like

          • Cat
            2015/03/05

            You and me both Glynis, but I do feel you underestimate your talent. I am more than happy to contribute, if I can 😉

            Liked by 1 person

  4. Dan Antion
    2015/03/03

    I think that’s a reasonable male response for someone in love. I think the ability (?) to realize the answer, change plans and move on abruptly is also something men can do. This was an interesting little snippet.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glynis Jolly
      2015/03/03

      I was hoping you’d be one of the ones commenting. 😀 Getting the opposite’s gender point of view is exactly what I wanted. Of course, I want the female side too, but I know that that may not be as revealing for me because we see things a little differently at times.

      Like

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This entry was posted on 2015/03/03 by in flash scenes & short stories, writing prompt and tagged , , , .

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